I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
