The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
