Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
