Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
