drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
