i think my tv is drunk
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
