Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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