whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
