the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
