go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We don't watch enough power rangers
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Hello my rib-scented angel!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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