did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
