Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
