Welp...herpes.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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