That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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