last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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