I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize