First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
