didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
