So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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