I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We have started to decorate penises.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
