You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize