tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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