hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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