Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
