Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
BRING THE BAGELS
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
