i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
