margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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