i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
This beer is not sobering me up at all
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
