If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Less talking, more tequila
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
