im about as happy as oj after his trial
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
