Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
