Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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