That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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