She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
