So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
