Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
