I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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