i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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