She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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