nut hugger
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
