come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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