i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
