i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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