too bad you live with your parents still
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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