i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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