Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
