why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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