they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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