well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
