super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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