Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
