i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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