You're my little dorito
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
