turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
