I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
