It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize