someone get that fucking seahorse.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
