I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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