I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I will die if light touches me.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
